Sunday, December 3, 2006

Anorexia nervosa: a life story

I don't even remember since what moment I began to grow thin. What made me take such a thoughtless decision? But the fact remains the same: I did grow thin.

I was 15 then and you probably roll up your eyes and wonder how I could rack my body when it was just growing and forming? To speak the truth, I didn't even think of that. Anorexia nervosa? I didn’t know what that meant. I was not frightened when my menstruation ceased; on the contrary, I was partly pleased, since I could be engaged in fitness constantly. Awfully enough, but then it didn't worry me.

I ate only vegetables and fruits, some dairy products with fat content 0.5-1%, cooked fish and chicken without salt. That was all, really.

In spite of my frugal diet, I went in for sports regularly (5-6 times a week). I read somewhere that in order to grow thin it is necessary to consume carbohydrates not less than 8 hours before training. So I safely refused from fruits during the whole day. I could eat a half-pack of cottage cheese of zero fat content (~35 kcal) a day and do aerobics with full feedback. Now I don’t even understand, where my forces came from. It was not power of will, it was madness leading me to the state where I’m now – anorexia nervosa.

I remember well that New Year night. I was changing my clothes in the bedroom. I stopped suddenly and stood before the mirror. It was for the first time when I noticed the results. A thin girl was standing before the mirror. That girl was me. I liked my reflection very much. I looked like a model. Being 165 cm high my weight was 39 kg.

Now I’m a victim of anorexia nervosa. My friends and relatives don't know what to do with me. Is that the price that I have to pay?

No comments: